


Caution, Considered

by intheheart



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-18 23:50:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3588543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intheheart/pseuds/intheheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A scene taking place in the time between the Fade romance scene and during Solas and Lavellan's second romance scene on her balcony. After their Fade kiss, it's obvious there's something in between them, but Solas is hesitant for unsaid reasons. He tries to ignore it...she gives him time. Yet, there is undeniably more.</p><p> </p><p>Just a short experiment in organizing some of my thoughts on the Solavellan early times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caution, Considered

As he holds her close, a woman whose life he once felt receding, now full, present, and real in his arms, no longer in dreams, he feels the pull of both silent promises he made and unmistakable desire. It was this moment he had spent turning in his head, trying to put the considerations he mentioned at the forefront. No, he could not do this. _But yes, you want to. You want her._ Pushing aside the connection, burying it down below immediate duties, studies, plans, the lines in the book that he found himself rereading six times while thoughts of her bright, determined lavender eyes interrupted, bring color to his face. _She's willing to risk it,_ but she cannot know what she's asking, _still, those lips, stained by the dark red she always applies,_ to be ignored, _no, those lips, her occasional joke,_ too risky, _the sight of her when she walks by..._

Weeks had passed since their shared moments in the Fade surprised Solas. While he was able to keep focus for a time, she became increasingly prominent. Thoughts of kissing her in this, the real world, acted like sharp jabs before long. It was a yearning, a hunger, the realization that a space within him she now occupied. _Vhenan._

_No._

Oh, how he would regret this. It was a mistake, was it not? He'd close his eyes, resist thoughts, and yet she would always manage to be present. _Present. Thoughtful. Alive. Real._

In her arms now, he calls to every bit of restraint he has. The scent of the oil she uses, a remnant from her hunter days, made for blending in with the woods around her, comforts him. It reminds her of home. Home. Freedom. Breathing _her_ in, a relief. He exhales slowly. She lingers, gently kissing his face as he loosens his hold, staying for several breaths before forcefully pulling back.

“Ar lath ma, vhenan.” And then he walks away.

Saying it so quickly, it had to have been so or the doubt in the depths of him wouldn't have allowed for such a confession. And then it was out there, what he had tried to break into tiny, digestible pieces and swallow like glass shards over the previous weeks. The burning in his mind, the worry, the concern over what he might have to do in the end. Yet her heart was open, patient, wanting him, wanting more. Lavellan, he realized, had become more than her ability, filled out with heart and mind, and beauty in her judgments. Glances in the field, small laughs together, her curiosity, her openness drew him and he tried to hold himself back, to hold himself to the standard he needed to meet, even if no one would ever know. In her darkness, she had, in some ways, set him free to reach for what he would reflexively deny himself. She was bold. She wanted, openly. He liked that. _Loved_ it. Impulsive moments, thrown by a mutual pull that he could only think of as something to stumble over; chains of a sort, inverted into a glimpse of freedom. Yet, in a gesture that merely strengthened his desire, she gave him space. Time. For the considerations he stated. She heeded his advice, accepted him as he was, no, _as she knew him to be_ , saw him beneath too, and expressed admiration, but there was more. Grace, patience, and a confidence. He waited and waited until he found himself unable to push away the ache of her absence any longer.

She catches her breath and goes after him, taking his hand, and leads him over to the bed. His heart overcomes his caution, not for the last time, and both of their bodies follow.

 


End file.
